@_@ General: Argh men!!!  We're under siege by the space pirates!

O.o Colonel: Sir... what the hell are you talking about?

@_@ General: Argh, well, the space pirates, they're ATTACKING US!!!

O.o Colonel: Sir... whats a space pirate?

@_@ General: Dont tell me they've brain washed you!

O.o Colonel: Sir, did you take your medication this morning?

@_@ General: AHAHAHAHA!!!  Those pills are just lies spread by communists!

O.o Colonel: We have to take you off active duty if you don't take them...

@_@ General: I BET YOU POISIONED THE PILLS - YOU NAZI BASTARD!

O.o Colonel: Sir, please calm down...

@_@ General: Sorry, Johnson, sorry, I forget who our enemies are in this time of war and chaotic destruction... so sad, Johnson...

O.o Colonel: My name isn't Johnson...

@_@ General: OH CURSE THE DAY WAR WAS MADE!!!

O.o Colonel: Please, general, ca-calm down!

@_@ General: Listen, Johnson, war is just something you have to accept, its a part of life, get used to it...

O.o Colonel: ...

@_@ General: Now where are those space pirates... AH!! THERE THEY ARE!!!

O.o Colonel: Thats a space satellite, sir...

@_@ General: BULL!! ITS BEEN TAKEN OVER BY THE SPACE PIRATES!!!

O.o Colonel: ...sir?

@_@ General: You pansy!! Fire all we got at them!! Ahahaha!

O.o Colonel: Sir, we're an outpost of ground-support troops in peace time, we have absolutely no weapons that can reach space... plus that satellite is owned by the russians--

@_@ General: THE RUSSIANS?!  DAMN THEIR COMMUNIST RULE!!!

O.o Colonel: ...sir?

@_@ General: WHAT?!

O.o Colonel: Russia isn't...

@_@ General: WHAT?! THEY WANT TO NUKE US, JOHNSON!?  WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME SOONER!!!

O.o Colonel: ... I give up, I'm going to go get help...

@_@ General: THEN BY ALL MEANS - IF THEY WANT NUCLEUR WARFARE - WE'LL GIVE IT TO THEM!!!

O.o Colonel: Yeah, here he is...

h.h Doctor: Listen, General, you must take your medication before--

@_@ General: AAAH!! ITS A NAZI-ENTHUSIAST!!!

h.h Doctor: Oh no!! He hasn't been taking his medication for at least a week!!! He's delusional!!!

@_@ General: AHAHAHAHAHAHHA DIE YOU DAMN JAP!!!

h.h Doctor: OH NO DONT POINT THAT GUN AT ME---ARGH!!!

O.o Colonel: BY GOD YOU SPLATTERED HIS BRAINS ON THE WALL!!

@_@ General: I saved you Johnson, you owe me a great deal of thanks but, nay, the time is not now!!

O.o Colonel: YOU JUST KILLED OUR DOCTOR!

@_@ General: ... I can see pretty colors if I close my eyes reaaaal tight...

O.o Colonel: Errrrrr....

@_@ General: WEEEEEE LOOK JOHNSON, I CAN FLY!!!

O.o Colonel: I'm fucking getting some help before I get shot...

@_@ General: That's the spirit, Johnson!

O.o Colonel: AND MY NAMES NOT JOHNSON!

@_@ General: Hmmm... thats odd... last time I checked I had ten fingers, now I seem to have eleven... one, two, three... four... six... eight... fourteen, schifty five, eleven...

@_@ General: Well, my hand won't miss the extra finger, so I'll bite it off!!!

O.o Colonel: HOLY SHIT WTF ARE YOU DOING GENERAL!

@_@ General: Aaah, Johnson, I was just about to bite my finger off!

O.o Colonel: THATS NOT YOU FINGER, SIR!

@_@ General: I was wondering what it was doing all the way down there, Johnson!

O.o Colonel: ...!  You're scaring me General!

@_@ General: Johnson, listen, we have to destroy those space pirates NOW!!! Get our elite helio-space-thopters ready for blast off!!! We'll shoot 'em down with our photon hydraulic ion cannon blasters!!!

O.o Colonel: ...uh... yes sir?

@_@ General: AHAHAH!!! PREPARE TO DIE SPACE PIRATE BASTARDS!!!

~~Meanwhile, on the Russian Satellite~~

(>`.`)> Kirby: Why are we on a Russian Satellite, exactly?

`.` Chaos: Ummm, to download russian porn?

(>`.`)> Kirby: Wtf, russians don't have porn, just lots of snow... and liquor...

`.` Chaos: Listen, we're here to download something, so just shut up and start downloading it...

(>-_-)> Kirby: ...Chaos, did you take your meds today?

`.` Chaos: ...what meds?

(>o.o)> Kirby: The ones the doctor prescribed to you?

`.` Chaos: ... ... ... ... ... oh those...

(>o.o)> Kirby: Well, do you?

`.` Chaos: ... ... nope.

(>~.~)> Kirby: Shit, I'm with a crazy person on a russian satellite...

`.` Chaos: ... ... yup.

(>`.`)> Kirby: What - does insanity run in your family?

~~Meanwhile back on Earth~~

@_@ General: I wonder what ever happened after I banged that hooker without protection...

O.o Colonel: SIR!!! WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING?!

@_@ General: I've built a space ship in my spare time, young lad!

O.o Colonel: Holy shit!! What is this made out of?!

@_@ General: Hope in, me boy, we're going to that Space Pirate Satellite and taking it DOOOOWN!

O.o Colonel: I suppose I don't have much of a choice...

~~Meanwhile back on the Ruissan Satellite~~

(>O_O)> Kirby: ACK!! CHAOS!! ITS THE RUSSIAN POLICE!!!

`.` Chaos: Wtf is that?

@_@ General *Through a screen thingy*: This is General George and Colonel Johnson - prepare to die space pirates!

(>O.o)> Kirby: Are we space pirates?

`.` Chaos: Tally-ho men!!  Launch the starboard cannons!

(>O.o)> Kirby: Oh god...

@_@ General: AAAH!! They're returning fire Johnson!

O.o Colonel: What are you talking about?

@_@ General: THEY'RE FIRING PHOTONIC NUCLEO BLAST BOOM THINGIES!

O.o Colonel: I don't see a thing...

`.` Chaos: Ahahah!!! Take THAT - and THAT!  Oh no, they're firing at us!

(>O.o)> Kirby: I dont... see anything...

`.` Chaos: Dude, they are toootally firing plasma hydraulic space beam weapons at us...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Plasma... hydraulics?  Wtf?

`.` Chaos: Okay, thats nice, you go ponder about science while we're taking enemy fire!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Dude, they're in a space ship... we didn't even invent lasers yet...

`.` Chaos: But what if HES FROM THE FUTURE?!

(>-_-)> Kirby: I give up...

`.` Chaos: Quick, go and ... do kirby kick-ass things!

(>O.o)> Kirby: I'm just going to go and eject myself into the depths of space...

`.` Chaos: Pick me up some food while you're out there...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Please, please god, let me die today...

O.o Colonel: I'm just going to go and eject myself into the depths of space...

@_@ General: Pick me up some beer while you're out there...

O.o Colonel: Please, please dear lord, let me die today...

*Ejection sound?*

O.o Colonel: Kirby?

(>`.`)> Kirby: Colonel Bob?

O.o Colonel: You were in that space station?

(>`.`)> Kirby: You were in that spacecraft?

O.o Colonel: Why aren't we dead yet - and how can you hear me in a vacummn...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Bad plot writer I guess...

`.` Chaos: Muahahahahah!!!

@_@ General: Argh!! Shields at 25% and failing!! I can't take much more of this!

`.` Chaos: Oh yeah!! Eat that you bloodly ... shields!!!

@_@ General: Hit 'em with all we got!

`.` Chaos: OWE!! SHIT THE ENGINES!!

@_@ General: Bullseye!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Wtf do you think they're doing in there...

O.o Colonel: I wonder if they're related...

@_@ General: ARGH!!! I'm FALLING OUT OF ORBIT!!!

`.` Chaos: ARGH!!! I'M FALLING OUT OF ORBIT!!!

@_@ General: I only have twenty three seconds to live!

`.` Chaos: I only have twenty four seconds to live!

@_@ General: Nuuu!! The earth's atmosphere is burning the ship inside out!

`.` Chaos: My skin!! IT BURNS!!!

(>o.o)> Kirby: You think they're allright?

O.o Colonel: They're just kinda having convultions on the floor, they'll be fine...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Let's go back to earth...

O.o Colonel: Yeah, seriously, this is fucked to hell...

(>`.`)> Kirby: We'll take my giant star!

O.o Colonel: Kay...

`.` Chaos: ARGH!!! He's borded the satellite!

@_@ General: Prepare to meet the power of the force, Chaos...

`.` Chaos: EAT UBER SWORD SKILLS!!!

@_@ General: Chaos -- I am your father!!!

`.` Chaos: ...no?

@_@ General: ..maybe..

`.` Chaos: Hey, what do you think that big red button did in the main control room?

@_@ General: Dunno...

`.` Chaos: Said something about a SLEEP DIS TRUCK SEEK WENCE..

@_@ General: Oh, I press those all the time!  Quite fun!

`.` Chaos: Yup - hey whats that noise?

^> Spearker: In 3... 2... 1...

*boom*

(>`.`)> Kirby: They fucking blew eachother up...

O.o Colonel: Nah, chaos and the general will survive by some extremely stupid means unbenownist to this comic and magically appear in the next one as if nothng happend and when you prompt chaos with why he didn't die in the previous comic, he'll just say something along the lines of "What the hell?  Comic?  Die?  Russian Satellite?  Did some sort of drug come out without me knowing?"

(>`.`)> Kirby: Let's just end this comic before it dies even worse then it is dead now...

`.` Chaos: You can kill a horse - but you can't kill a ghost!

@_@ General: (The farnham chant is a ghost!)

`.` Chaos: On the count of three I'm going to stop...

@_@ General: One, two, three

`.` Chaos: YUM!

~End Stupidity~