(>^_^)> Kirby: Ahh what a beautiful morning!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Ahhh what a wonderful spring day!

(>^_^)> Kirby: The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, a giant meteor is falling from the sky... ahhh life is --

(>O_O)> Kirby:  A GIANT METEOR IS FALLING FROM THE SKY!?!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Oh my god!!!  I wonder how long we have to live!

[ ◘ ] T.V: You have exactly three days to live!

(>`.`)> Kirby: It's going to take it three days to plumit from the sky?

[ ◘ ] T.V: Three Business Days, tomorrow is a Canadian holiday.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Gotcha.  What is today, anyway?

[ ◘ ] T.V: This has been a regularly scheduled warning thinger, had this been a real warning thinger, your television would go like this: BoOoOOoOoP!

(>O.o)> Kirby: Owe!! My ears are bleeding!

[ ◘ ] T.V: BOOoOOOoOooooOOoooOOo---

*SMASH*

(>`.`)> Kirby: Gay television... hmm, today is monday, march ---

(>O_O)> Kirby: It's a monday???

(>O.O)> Kirby: ...n-no!

 

• <- Earth

• ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) <-- Sound waves

 

7.7 Alien: Picking up radio transmissions, decoding and playing...

☺ Speaker: NOOOooOOOooOOO I HATE MONDAYS GFAIJFA!!!  I HATE THIS UNIVERSE!!! IM GONNA BLOW IT UP!!!

7.7 Alien: Oh--oh my god, I have to tell the high council!

 

(>`.`)> Kirby: John! Its a monday!!!

`.` John: ...oh shoot it is?

(>`.`)> Kirby: Yeah... shouldn't you be in school?

`.` John: I graduated...

(>O.o)> Kirby: Then what about ur job?

`.` John: Retired.

(>o.0)> Kirby: ...oookaaay...

`.` John: I hate mondays...

(>`.`)> Kirby: So do I...

`.` John: Is it tuesday yet?

(>`.`)> Kirby: Let's wait and find out...

*10 minutes later*

`.` John: Is it tuesday?

(>`.`)> Kirby: *peers at calendar* Nope!

`.` John: How about now?

(>`.`)> Kirby: Yeah, its tuesday now...

`.` John: Really?

(>`.`)> Kirby: Nope, just went back to monday...

`.` John: ... I hate mondays...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Let's do something illegal to pass the time.

`.` John: Nah, but look at this...

(>O.o)> Kirby: What is it?

`.` John: A t-i-m-e machine...

(>^_^)> Kirby: AWESOME!!!  We can go back in time to stop mondays from being made!

`.` John: Exactly!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Hmm, but who made mondays...?

`.` John: Maybe Napoleon did...

(>`.`)> Kirby: You're right, whoever did it could've been French...

`.` John: Exactly!  Let's go!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Okay, let's set the year to the 19th century and go and meet Napoleon!

*Warping Sound*

`.` John: Hi Napoleon!

*.* Napoleon: What the... What are you silly non-french english-speaking roaches doing here?

(>`.`)> Kirby: We're here to stop you from making mondays...

*.* Napoleon: Mondays?  Mondays are horrible days, oui oui!  But alas, I did not make these mondays!

`.` John: Well, we were just thinking since ur French and all, and only stupid french people would be stupid enough and french enough to make a Monday, that it must be you...

*.* Napoleon: I've had it with your english-talk nonsense!  I order my men to kill you silly english... how do you say... wankers!

(>O.o)> Kirby: ...huh?

*.* Napoleon: Meet the great Napoleon Bonaparte's legion of troops!  Ready?  Aim?

`.` John: Woah, do you guys see an english regiment out in the distance?

*.* Napoleon: RETREAT!!! RETREAT!!! HEAD FOR THE HILLS THE ENGLISH ARE COMING THE ENGLISH ARE COMING!!!

--Meanwhile--

>_> Paul Revere: ...The...English...They're COMING!!!

3.3 American Minuteman: The English... have enlisted zombies?

1.1 Zombie: Brains!  BRAINS!!!

>_> Paul Revere: They're the English... and they're coming...

3.3 Minuteman: Ahhh!!! He's chewing off my flesh! HELP!!!

>_> Paul Revere: I shall ride forth to alert the others of the English!

1.1 Zombie: BRAINS!

>_> Paul Revere: But sadly, I'm far too tired, and I must take a nap...

1.1 Zombie: Brains?

>_> Paul Revere: Yes, Minuteman, yes, brains...

1.1 Zombie: Brains...

-----

`.` John: Nope, that was just a tree...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Looked like the English though...

`.` John: Yeah...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Hmm, well if Napoleon didn't make Mondays, maybe we should ask someone for some direction.

`.` John: Let's ask Jesus...

(>`.`)> Kirby: The year is set to 15 A.D.

*Warping Sounds*

`.` John: Hi Jesus!

J.J Jesus: I have predicted your arrival.

(>`.`)> Kirby: ...Yes, we have to ask you a question Jesus.

J.J Jesus: Kirby, John, this quest for the destruction of Monday is in vein, for Monday does not actually exist--

`.` John: Jesus!! Mondays... they.. they invaded our future, I know its hard to understand but...

J.J Jesus: No, John, I know where you come from, its just that the entire concept of days are just organizations of--

(>O_O)> Kirby: They invaded... INVADED!!!

J.J Jesus: ... ... Mondays don't actually exist you know...

(>O_O)> Kirby: I

J.J Jesus: Oh my Father...

(>O_O)> Kirby: N

`.` John: Jesus, are you sure you can't maybe manipulate the creation of mondays somehow and call them like...

(>O_O)> Kirby: V

`.` John: Juiceday?

(>O_O)> Kirby: A

J.J Jesus: Kirby, stop, you'll hurt yourself...

(>O_O)> Kirby: D

`.` John: Jesus, what's the meaning of life?

(>O_O)> Kirby: E

J.J Jesus: Well its to--

(>O_O)> Kirby: D...

`.` John: SHUT UP KIRBY IM TRYING TO HEAR THE MEANING OF LIFE....

J.J Jesus: It's to live according to your own inner conscience and to be as humane as you can possibly be and to have fun and work for the common good of all.

(>O.o)> Kirby: Isn't that communism?

J.J Jesus: No...

`.` John: JESUS IS A COMMIE?!?!

J.J Jesus: Get back in ur time machines... ur gonna mess up the timeline if you stay here much longer...

`.` John: JESUS IS A COMMIE?!?!

J.J Jesus: No actually I'm for Common-Direct-Democratic-Socialist Rule, a government which has not yet been created in your time in which all people will live in a golden era right before the downfall of humanity...

`.` John: When will the downfall of humanity be?

J.J Jesus: 2948 A.D, Feburary 7th... its a Monday...

(>`.`)> Kirby: I'll mark it on my Calendar when we get home!

J.J Jesus: ... I have a really bad feeling about what I just did...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Let's try to communism, because communists clearly started Mondays, so lets go to communist Russia!

*Warping Sounds*

`.` John: DIE LENIN!!!

*BANG*

`.` John: YES! SCORE ONE FOR DEMOCRACY!

o.o Stalin: Good God!  You killed Kenny!

`.` John: Where's Lenin?

o.o Stalin: Around somewhere, I'm one of his followers Stalin.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Are you a communist too?

o.o Stalin: Ye-yes...

`.` John: DIE COMMUNIST!

o.o Stalin: Wait! Don't kill me... think about it, maybe during communist rule, we can try to remove mondays...

(>`.`)> Kirby: No one likes them, we should get rid of them and instead have Blueday.

`.` John: Word.

o.o Stalin: Can you guys like, leave?  I was just about to make a speech to the people...

(>`.`)> Kirby: You know, Stalin, did you ever think of taking a step over Lenin?  Maybe becoming the leader yourself?

`.` John: Yeah think about it!  You could rule all of Russia!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Okay, let's go to present, perhaps mondays will finally be removed by communist Russia!

`.` John: That he does, lets go!

*Warping Sounds*

o.o Stalin: Leeeaaaadeeeeeeeer...

o.o Stalin: Proleteriat!  I'M NOW YOUR DADDY!!!

--Now Back To The Present--

(>^_^)> Kirby: YES! Look! My Calendar!  NO MORE MONDAYS!

`.` John: Nah, they're right there...

(>o.o)> Kirby: What the crap!! All that work and now they're moved to the middle of the week?

`.` John: Now today is tuesday... tomorrow is wednesday, and the day after that is monday...

(>~.~)> Kirby: But wednesdays suck too... now we'll have two suck-days in a row!

`.` John: But we'll have four not-suck days in a row!

(>O.o)> Kirby: Doesn't that add up to 6?

`.` John: ...No.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Eh, I would at least like to have a rest inbetween the suck days...

`.` John: Nah, I like it better this way...

[ ◘ ] T.V: By the way, your actions have caused World War III to break out!

(>O.o)> Kirby: Didn't I break you?

[ ◘ ] T.V: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

`.` John: How did WorldWar III Start?

~Flashback~

(--) Germany: We are Germans! Hhohhoooo!  We now want to invade a random country like Spain!

(33) Spain: No! Leave us out of this, we're spaniards!

(--) Germany: Too Freking bad!

( O  O ) Russia: We're really big, but we want to get really bigger, so we're going to invade China!

(~~) China: You can't invade us, it'll take like... 100 years to... we have about 3 people per square milimeter in China...

( O  O ) Russia: Good, our men can't shoot straight drunk anyway, this way they're bound to hit at least someone...

m.m Britain: Tea time now, chaps, can't be fighting right this second...

y.y France: We will attack you as you slimely English are drinking your tea!

*Bang*

m.m Britain: Good Heavens, I seem to bleeding pure tea!

y.y France: What the...?

m.m Britain: Can someone get me some crumpets?  I would rather not have my tea-blood go to waste...

y.y France: ...?

m.m Britain: Tea time is over already? Ah, okay, FOR TEH QUEEN!!!

*Bang*

m.m Britain: It's only a 1000 to 1 man ratio, we English must win!

y.y France: Hahaha, we outnumber your army 5 billion to about 7!

m.m Britain: Like I said, 1000 to 1..

y.y France: ... you English were never very good at math...

m.m Britain: Ready?  Aim?  Fire!

y.y France: ... AHHHH!!!  RETREAT!!!

m.m Britain: SHOOT WE LOST HENRY!!

y.y France: We only took out one man and lost 2.5 billion?

m.m Britain: WHERE DID HENRY GO?  WE LOST HIM!

y.y France: ...when do you guys reload?

m.m Britain: Reload?  When did we ever use ammunition?  We just kinda point our guns at ppl and they die!

y.y France: That's it... I'm gonna go and kill myself right about now...

m.m Britain: 'Kay...

~Meanwhile in the League of Nations~

L.L English Embassador: Today we are going to sit here and do nothing.

P.P French Embassador: Oh, but we did that yesterday...

V.V Spanish Embassador: Can we at least have a gay orgy?

L.L English Embassador: No!

m.m Britain: We declare war on everything!

G.G Italian Embassador: You can't do that!

m.m Britain: Who's going to stop me?

G.G Italian Embassador: Well our Military--... uh... uh... umm.. ILL STOP YOU MYSELF COME GET ME!

m.m Britain: Shoot, our entire brigade of 7 men can not take out the Italian Embassador, we must go DBZ Style on him!

M.M SS4+Pi all over 3 squared times i to the fourth Britain: KAH-MEH-AH-MEH-YAAAAAAAAAAA

G.G Italian Embassador: Aww... shoot...

*Explosion*

A.A America: Omg, a piece of shrapnel from the League of Nations came into proximity of one of our cruise liners!  THATS IT!

*Nukes World*

7.7 Alien: This is the planet, High Council...

9.9 Alien Overlord: You have done well Jibberwallieboojantacklestripescaflownebobsmittenpiecowcreepersnightflownpidgeonowl.

7.7 Alien: Please, just call me Jiberrwallieboojantacklestripescaflowne.

9.9 Alien Overlord: I never want to repeat or hear your name again...

7.7 Alien: Yes, Overlord.

9.9 Alien Overlord: Begin Extermination!

7.7 Alien: Wait, sire, sensors are picking up a very large mass of objects heading towards us...

(>O_O)> Kirby: YOU ALIENS CREATED MONDAYS AS A CONSPIRACY I KNOW IT!!

*BoOoOm*

`.` John: That Kirby, when will he ever learn...

`.` John: to put the milk back in the fridge when he's done... god... oh well, I'm just gonna go forward in time... see what happens in the future... hmm, lets go to the end of the world that Jesus told us about...

*Warping Sounds*

`.` John: Hey!

~.~ Scientist: We are currently making a breakthrough in science, we are seeing how an atom really works, but we are currently containing a total of 1.5x10^1000 kilounits of nucleur power, and this reactor is highly--

`.` John: What does this button do?

~.~ Scientist: NOOOOOOOOOOO----

 

• <- Earth

*KABOOOM*

  <- Earth

 

-Special bonus scene-

(>`.`)> Kirby: Okay, now that the whole world has been nuked, only us two are still alive...

(>^.^)> Jessica: Guess we have to repopulate the world...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Yep.

(>^.^)> Jessica: Let's get started ASAP!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Sure!!!

 

Moral of the story: {  } <-- Mathematical termonology.