(>`.`)> Kirby: John!  John!

`.` John: What?

(>`.`)> Kirby: I got a new rooster today!

`.` John: No way, what did you name him?

(>`.`)> Kirby: I'm named him little Richard.

`.` John: I got a donkey the other day.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Really?

`.` John: Yeah, I named him Hole.

(>O.o)> Kirby: Why?

`.` John: Because... I found him in a ditch!

(>o.O)>

`.` John: ...that I dug...

(>O.o)>

`.` John: In a mule farm...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Right.  Anyway.  So - yeah, well, I was about to go and tell the Colonel, wanna come?

`.` John: Sure.

(>`.`)> Kirby: So, anyway, how's your ass?

`.` John: Sexy.

(>-_-)> Kirby: No - the donkey.

`.` John: Ohh... he's good.  How's your cock?

(>`.`)> Kirby: Big.

`.` John: The rooster.

(>`.`)> Kirby: I said big!

`.` John: ...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Hey Colonel, guess what!

O.o Colonel: ...what?

(>^_^)> Kirby: I got a cock today!

O.o Colonel: It's about time.

(>`.`)> Kirby: I know, it sucks not having a cock.  There's so much you can't do.

O.o Colonel: Uhh... yeah, I suppose so.

(>`.`)> Kirby: I mean, with a cock, you can stroke it, and pet it, and watch it get bigger...

O.o Colonel: That's generally what most cocks do...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Well, some don't.  Some stay small.

O.o Colonel: Yep.

(>`.`)> Kirby: So, wanna see my cock?

O.o Colonel: No.

(>`.`)> Kirby: I'll take him out right now!

O.o Colonel: No, really... that's okay...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Fine, then let's see your cock.

O.o Colonel: I'm not showing you my cock.

(>-_-)> Kirby: I bet you have a small cock, and that's why you don't want to show it to me.

O.o Colonel: ...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Ugh, forget you...

`.` John: Hey Colonel, what's up.

O.o Colonel: Kirby kept trying to show me his new cock.

`.` John: Haha, well then I guess you don't want to see my ass.

O.o Colonel: No, really... I don't.

`.` John: Okay, suit yourself.  My ass, Hole, will just have to wait to see you.

O.o Colonel: Let's keep it that way.

(>`.`)> Kirby: So, John, where's your donkey.

`.` John: Where he always is.

(>O)> Waddle Doo: Hey, Kirby, what's up!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Hey Waddle Doo.

`.` John: Hey Doo.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Yeah, I generally leave my cock in the same place.

`.` John: You should really give him some fresh air once and awhile.

(>O)> Waddle Doo: ...

(>`.`)> Kirby: I would, but what if he gets cold.  He won't grow big...

`.` John: Well, then just let him out when its warm.

(>`.`)> Kirby: It's kinda warm now...

(>O)> Waddle Doo: Holy shit!

*Waddle Doo runs away*

`.` John: Yeah, just let your rooster out when you get home.

(>`.`)> Kirby: What's Doo's problem.

`.` John: Probably left his bathtub running.

***The Next Day***

(>`.`)> Kirby: So, my rooster is getting bigger, right?

`.` John: Yeah...

(>^.^)> Jessica: Heya Kirby, wutcha talking about?

(>`.`)> Kirby: Nothin', Jessica.  So anyway, my cock is getting bigger, right?

(>^.^)> Jessica: Ummm...

(>`.`)> Kirby: And finally I can't take it anymore, so I let my cock outta the cage.  Gotta have room to run around, right?

`.` John: My ass is the same way.

(>^.^)> Jessica: ...

(>`.`)> Kirby: But my little Dick is huge.  Like, for a cock, I mean.

(>^.^)> Jessica: Oooo... *Dreams*

`.` John: So, yeah, anyway.  If you're cock is that big, you have to let it run free every once and awhile... you know, somewhere warm.  And wet, they like a little wetness, too.

(>^.^)> Jessica: I know just the place!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Where?

(>^.^)> Jessica: Umm... I mean... I gotta go.

(>`.`)> Kirby: What was her problem?

`.` John: I don't know, anyway, so Hole the other day started rubbing his face against my friend's rooster.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Uh-huh...

<(:D) Condomheadman: Rawr!  Prepare to die!

`.` John: So then he shouts "Dude, get your ass to quit rubbing its cheeks on my cock..." and I'm like "Fine, when you stop abusing your cock, I will!"

<(:O) Condomheadman: Uhhh...

`.` John: So then he got his cock stuck in a container.  I don't know how, he's always playing around with his cock in weird ways...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Oh, you were telling me about this yesterday - so you had to help pull his cock out after oiling it up.

`.` John: There was oily white stuff everywhere.

<(:l) Condomheadman: You guys are sick!

(>`.`)> Kirby: White feathers?

`.` John: Yeah, his rooster is all white.

***Two days after the original story began***

`.` John: Hey, Kirby...

(>O_O)> Kirby: Have you seen my little Dick?

`.` John: Yeah, he's under my Hole!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Get your ass off my cock!

`.` John: Get your cock out from under my ass!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Ugh, you are impossible with your ass, John.

`.` John: Not my fault your cock keeps wandering in my Hole.

O.o Colonel: Excuse me, everyone.  Yes, everyone reading this comic right now.  Turn it off.  Hit that red X on the top right of your screen, hit Ctrl+Alt+Del until you're blue in the face, do a cold reboot, play with your surge protector, even destroy your local power plant - do everything in your power to get rid of this comic.  This comic is getting way too far.  All this talk of nonsense in sick ways is pissing me off.  I don't know about you, but I'm going to do something about it!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Yo colonel!!  Come over here and pet my cock!

`.` John: If you pet his cock I'll let you ride my ass!

O.o Colonel: AAAAAAAAAH!!! YOU SICK BASTARDS!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Goodness, its not like my Richard has any diseases or anything.

`.` John: I think he's frightened of farm animals.

***The next day after the previous one which is two days after the first***

(>`.`)> Kirby: You know, I have a really big cock.

*_* Nick: Really?  Can I touch it?

(>-_-)> Kirby: I am not letting you touch my cock.

*_* Nick: No, really, come on, let me touch it...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Listen you little backstreet boy penis muncher, you are not going near my little Dick!

*_* Nick: Ugh, if it's little, then forget it.

(>`.`)> Kirby: It'll get little after you touch it.  It'll shrivel up and turn purple because you have the touch of pure carpet munching power that will practically kill it.

*_* Nick: Fine, if your cock can't stay up when I touch it, I don't want to play with it...

(>-_-)> =======O *_*

*Boom*

(>`.`)> Kirby: ... what a moron.

***On the fourth day of Kirbyness...***

`.` John: So anyway, as I was saying, my girlfriend has a really big cock.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Even bigger than mine?

`.` John: Way bigger!

~~~(:\) Semenman: Oh...my God...

(>^_^)> Kirby: I bet you play with her cock every night!

`.` John: Oh yeah, and she is always playing with my ass.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Can my cock join the fun?

`.` John: Your little Dick?  No way.

(>v.v)> Kirby: I take offense to that...

~~~(:O) Semenman: Dear lord... you guys are insane!

***The fifth day***

O.o Colonel: Put your hands up and walk out of the house.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Colonel?  What do you want?  Me and John were just stroking my cock.

O.o Colonel: You have said disgusting things far too long.  Me, Condomheadman, Semenman, and Waddle Doo also agree.  Jessica agrees somewhat, and Nick ... we don't really give a shit about him.

`.` John: Kirby, next time, don't put your cock so close to my ass, Hole.

O.o Colonel: STOP!  STOP NOW!!!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Okay, next time I won't put my little Dick next to your big fat ass.

`.` John: My ass is not fat!

(>`.`)> Kirby: I was just kidding, relax.

O.o Colonel: YOU SICK BASTARDS!

`.` John: Colonel, wanna come pet my donkey?

O.o Colonel: Wha?

`.` John: Yeah, my pet donkey, Hole.  He's my ass.

O.o Colonel: Wait... then...

(>`.`)> Kirby: And my rooster, his name is little Richard, I named him Dick for short.  He's my little cock.

O.o Colonel: You're kidding, right?

(>`.`)> Kirby: What in the world did you think we were talking about.

O.o Colonel: I need an aspirin...

 

Moral: Never refer to your animals in names that no one uses anymore.  It worked in the bible 2000 years ago, but not now.  CERTAINLY not now.