(>`.`)> Kirby: So... I'm going to hell?

$.$ Priest: Yes.  Unless you pay the church 750$ and give me sexual favors.

(>.\/.)> Kirby: YOU'RE NOT GETTING MY DRUG MONEY!

$.$ Priest: God hates you!

(>`O`)> Kirby: Screw you, God loves me!

$.$ Priest: I'm a priest, I know who God loves and doesn't.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Oh yeah?  We'll I'll become a holy man, and I'll ask God myself!

$.$ Priest: Fine!

(>`o`)> Kirby: Fine!

$.$ Priest: Fine!

(>`o`)> Kirby: By the way, your outfit makes you look like a dike.

$.$ *cries* Priest: Fine *sniffle* No one understands me... not even God!  *Slit, slit, slit*

 

(>`.`)> Kirby: Excuse me, can I register to become a priest?

0-0 Nun: No.  You are not a male shovanist or a pedophile rapist.

(>`.`)> Kirby: How about a deacon or something...

0-0 Nun: No, you need to have no life or have too much free time.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Well, all my free time is taken up by doing random stuff... so how about, I dunno, being a nun?

0-0 Nun: Okay.  You can enter this convent to become a nun, your room number is 666, have fun.  And remember, mass in the morning at seven.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Any rules about, y'know, bringing other people to our rooms?

0-0 Nun: Only if you invite other nuns...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Kay...

 

`.` John: Kirby... what the hell were you thinking?

0-0 Nun: Mmm, you're so muscular... so buffed...

`.` John: Kirby!!! Get rid of them!!!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Rules are rules.  God makes rules we must all obey.

`.` John: I'm Funktastic, not Christian....

(>`o`)> Kirby: John, shut up, this is our room, if the nuns want to malest you they can...

`.` John: Can they at least shave before they malest me?

(>`.`)> Kirby: If God wanted them to shave, he'd cut down their pubes himself.

`.` John: I pray for spontaneous combustion.

(>`o`)> Kirby: God does not grant greedy prayers!

`.` John: Why don't you take a big giant crucifix and shove it up your--

*Crackle, Crackle*

O.O Oracle: I AM GOD.  YOU HAVE USED SYMBOLS OF MY CHURCH IN VEIN.  HOW, MORTAL, DO YOU PLEAD.

`.` John: I'm Funktastic.

O.O Oracle: Damnit.

`.` John: Yeah...

O.O Oracle: YOU SHALL KILL YOUR FATHER AND MARRY YOUR MOTHER.

`.` John: What if I don't.

O.O Oracle: THE GREAT ORACLE HAS SPOKEN.

*Crackle, Crackle*

(>`.`)> Kirby: That was God, y'know.  You're holy now.

`.` John: I'm leaving.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Jesus loves us all, John, even if we don't have large reproductive organs!

`.` John: ...

(>`o`)> Kirby: Okay, girls, back to work...

0-0 Nuns: 1... 2... 3... 4...

0^0 Nun-Leader: Good work, Nun Kirby, he didn't suspect a thing!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Indeed, Nun-Leader.  Are the troops ready?

0-0 Nun: We are buffed up and ready to kick some Godly ass.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Sweet.  Okay, have we repented for our sins?

0-0 Nun: Just a few more sins to repent for, Kirby.

(>`o`)> Kirby: All is going to plan.  First, we take over the churches and kick out the priests, then we go after the figure heads like Bishops and Cardinals, then we go after the Pope.  Got it girls?

0-0 Nuns: Sir, yes sir!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Let us ride, warriors, ride on our steeds of Christianity!

 

`.` John: It's time to watch some T.V.

[☼] T.V: In today's news, the Vatican has been taken over by an army of nuns.  The guard has fallen and the pope is currently being held hostage.  The leader is said to be Kirby of Dreamland... *krrrh*

`.` John: Television gets more and more boring every day.

[☼] T.V: And welcome back to Soapy Soap Operas.  On last week's episode, Jake fell off a cliff and died a bloody horrible death.  But today is completely different.

[☼] T.V: Oh Samantha, I never believed you could be such a ... such a equilateral triangle!

[☼] T.V: Oh, Jake, if you only understood the pain I hold because all three of my sides are perfectly the same in size... you... you scalene triangles wouldn't understand.

[☼] T.V: But, Samantha... just because my sides aren't equal, doesn't mean that I can't understand I'm in love with... with...

[☼] T.V: Yes, Jake?

[☼] T.V: Your Mom...!

[☼] T.V: You asshole, my Mom is a rhombus!

[☼] T.V: I'm very attracted to four sides, Samantha!

[☼] T.V: My Dad told me to watch out for triangles like you!

[☼] T.V: Well, Samantha, at least I'm not a pentagon like your dad!

[☼] T.V: Take that back!

`.` John: Wow... Television sucks...

[☼] T.V: Bite me, whore.  You equilaterals are all alike.  You don't nothing but bitch and complain!

`.` John: That news was more interesting than this shit...

[☼] T.V: Too bad, Jake, too bad your dick is about to be crushed by my *krsssh*

[☼] T.V: Kirby is now fighting the entire European Army single handedly after the N.U.N Army or New Unified Nun Army was defeated earlier after bombing the entire continent of Asia with nucleur warheads.  The suspected death toll is in the billions...

`.` John: Kirby?

[☼] T.V: We see now that Kirby, the leader of the N.U.N Army has cleared a path through the European defense forces and is now devouring whole tanks like they were play toys.

`.` John: Television sucks...

[☼] T.V: In later news, France exploded...*bzoot*

`.` John: I'm going to bed.

*Meanwhile*

(>`o`)> Kirby: Coming through!

~.~ Soldier: Put up the barricade of sheep!

(>.\/.)> Kirby: Your wooly farm animals won't stop me.

~.~ Soldier: Yeah, they will.  Because they're sheep of STEEL.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Hiyaaa!

{   '.'} Sheep: Baaah...

*Kaboom*

~.~ Soldier: Ahhh, the sheep are falling on us!

a.a Commander: Open fire, men, destroy the pink demon!

(>`o`)>  {'.'    }

{>'.'}> Kirby: I'm Steel Sheep Kirby, now!  Your bullets won't affect me!

a.a - - - - - - - -   <{'.'<}

*Boop*

a.a                   <{'.'<}

a.a Commander: Shit...

*Squash*

{>^.^}>

2_2 Lieutenant: Fire the Cannon.

~.~ Soldier: We don't have a cannon...

2_2 Lieutenant: Yes, its right there.

~.~ Soldier: That's a toaster.

2_2 Lieutenant: Then where the hell is our cannon?

--In the Barracks...--

i_i Man: Mmm, toast...

O=====( i_i

i_i Man: Wait, that's not a toa-

O=====( ~~~~~~~~O

--Back to the story--

2_2 Lieutenant: Oops.

~.~ Soldier: Toast?

2_2 Lieutenant: Yes, please.

(>`.`)> Kirby: HIYA!

~.~ Soldier: Oh god he cut off my head - blarg I am a dead!

2_2 Lieutenant: Hey... he... he stole my toast!  After him!!!

*Cricket, Cricket*

2_2 Lieutenant: Are there no military personnel left?

*Cricket, Cricket*

(>`o`)> Kirby: Ieieieieieieieie!

*Boom!*

2_2 Lieutenant: I'm.. I'm all alone.. you know what this means, right?

(>`.`)> Kirby: ...Dance party?

2_2 Lieutenant: YEAH!

(^`.`)^ 2_2

(>`.`)^

<(`.`^)

(>`.`)^

<(`.`^)

2_2

2_2

2_2

2_2 Lieutenant: I never learned how to dance...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Is that a toaster...?