(>`.`)>      [☼ ] <-- T.V

[☼ ] Bush: I heard on the 'internets', rumors that there was going to be a backdoor draft...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Jeez, there's more then one now?

[☼ ] Kerry: just go to www.johnkerry.com and see my plan!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Another link to a gay porn site...

[☼ ] Bush: He's sending mexed missages!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Was that in code??

[☼ ] Kerry: He owns a lumber company!

[☼ ] Bush: Want some wood?

(>`.`)> Kirby: ...okay... these two are CLEARLY not capable of running a country... let's see what nader says...

[☼ ] Nader: ...TREES! TREES ARE GREAT!!! GRBBLBLBLBLBL!!! Don't shoot the wolves, kill the ecoterrorists in our country! Freedom for treez!!11one

(>o.o)> Kirby: Dude, did a new form of drug come out without me knowing?

(>`.`)> Kirby: I am sooo becoming president...

*So Kirby goes to the place where you can register to become president*

(>`.`)> Kirby: Alright,  I wanna become president!

^_^ Attendent: Okay, sir, that'll be a buck fifty, please...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Alright, here you go

^_^ Attendent: Have a nice day!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Alright, now I need to go and ... say hi to the public!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Hi, mr. bum!

o.o Bum: WHAT DO YOU WANT!

(>`.`)> Kirby: If you elect me president... I'll... give every bum a bottle of beer and a hooker!

o.o Bum: ALL RIGHT!!! ELECT KIRBY 4 PRESIDENT!!!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Hello, good sir, will you elect me for president?

@_@ Bush: ...Okay... sure why not?

#_# Bush Sr.: YOU IDIOT! *SMACK* YOU'RE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!

@_@ Bush: ... ... ... ... ... ...

#_# Bush Sr.: OH MY GOD!

@_@ Bush: Look, you're either with me or against me!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Hello, lady, will you elect me for president?

*_* Hooker: ...?

(>`.`)> Kirby: I promise you as president I shall make all hookers... um...

*_* Hooker: ...

(>`.`)> Kirby: I'll... uhh... 'clean you off the street'... and I'll make you rich...?

*_* Hooker: Okay!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Hello there, little girl, who will you elect as president?

•.• Little Girl: My mommy says that Bush is a very trustworthy man!

(>`.`)> Kirby: ...AHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! AAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Well he's not, so threaten your mother that you will show your individuality when you get older unless she votes for Kirby...

•.• Little Girl: ...okay?

(>`.`)> Kirby: How about you, sir? Will you elect Kirby for president?

`.` ChaosChronicle: ...will you promise to legalize the use of swords on people who are stupider than a rock?

(>`.`)> Kirby: Sure, why not?

`.` ChaosChronicle: Cool!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Alright, enough public mingling, now to think of a campaign phrase...

(>^_^)> Kirby: Ah-hah! Vote 4 Kirby cuz I'm teh pwnage!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Alright, now to run some negative adds...

[☼ ] Kirby: Bush sux cuz he's retarded! LOOK AT HIM!! HES RETARDED! And do you know what? HE RAPED YOUR GRANDMOTHER!!!

O.O Random Guy: O M G!!! I'M SO NOT VOTING FOR BUSH!

[☼ ] Kirby: Kerry sux cuz he looks wierd! LOOK AT HIM!!! If you dont watch out, he may devour YOUR BABIES!!!

O.O Random Guy: O M G!!! MY BABIES? I'm SO not voting for Kerry!

[☼ ] Kirby: Nader is dumb.  And if you elect him, he will take a shit on your car!!

O.O Random Guy: O M G!!! MY CAR? I'm SO not voting for Nader!

(>`.`)> Kirby: That was fun, now to debate!

8.8 Jim: The first question goes to you, Kirby... "What is your plan for the war in Iraq?"

(>`.`)> Kirby: We attack them with the giant taco god! And if that doesn't work, Chaos goes and uses his uber swords on their arses.  In addition to that, I have mad fighting skillz, yo, so I can bring 'dem dawgs down MYSELF!

).( Kerry: ...My opponent clearly doesn't know the first thing about warfare.  I've been in warfare, its not pretty.  People die.  I've killed people.  It was funny.

@_@ Bush: ...THEY'RE BOTH SENDING MIXED MESSAGES OMG!!!

8.8 Jim: Okay, next question is also for Kirby, "Kirby, you have been running many negative adds that are surprisingly straightforward.  Is any of it true?"

(>`.`)> Kirby: OMG IT IS ALL SOOO TRUE!!! But if you elect me for president, I'm gonna totally protect you from these psycho wierdo guys!!

).( Kerry: This is clearly a bunch of lies! I have never done ANYTHING to even IMPLY that I eat babies!

@_@ Bush: ...well... it is sorta true... what he said about me...

8.8 Jim: ...NEXT QUESTION, this is for you, Senator Kerry, "What are your views on abortion?"

).( Kerry: Well, my views are that I can't force my way of thinking on everyone else, it just isn't fair.  I have to represent the nation as a whole.

@_@ Bush: ...DID YOU SEE THAT? HE SENT A MIXED MESSAGE! OMG! TO OUR TROOPS THAT COULD BE HAVING BABIES RIGHT NOW!

(>`.`)> Kirby: CLEARLY, Kerry would most likely DEVOUR the babies instead of chosing abortion!  He's a devious one!  As for BUSH, he's going to make babies with your GRANDMOTHER!  However, I am opposed to abortion!  It's bad!  Instead we're going to force women to have babies, then we will take those babies that they don't want and rip out their brains and raise them in cybernetic bodies!  That's sooo much better, don't you think?

8.8 Jim: ... NEXT QUESTION... "How are you going to establish better homeland security?"

@_@ Bush: First we legalize assault weapons, then we leave nucleur power plants unguarded, we send all of our policemen into Australia, then we mass produce nucleur bombs and then we substitute all the footballs for nucleur bombs!  OUR COUNTRY WILL BE SAFE!!!

).( Kerry: ...alright... I just realized that there's nooo hope for this country, excuse me as I go and find a place to cry...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Alright, first we build mega missile defense turrets all around the perimiter of America, then we build looots of tanks that automatically shoot at terrorists, then we have our cybernetic guard babies to shoot down all the rest of the terrorists! See? ITS AWESOME!!! ITS AN AWESOME PLAN!!!

8.8 Jim: Alright, this is getting retarded... I'm totally leaving this country...

(>`.`)> Kirby: w00t, that went well, now to see how everyone does in the election.

j.j Newscaster: Alright, all states in blue are for Kerry, red for Bush, green for Nader, and pink for Kirby...

j.j Newscaster: Alright, New York votes democratic, California votes democratic, Texas votes Republican...

(>`.`)> Kirby: This isn't going well...

j.j Newscaster: Alright, thats 50% Kerry, 40% Bush, 0% Nader, and 10% Kirby...

`.` ChaosChronicle: *Voting... la la la... voting... la la la... hmm...*

`.` ChaosChronicle: Bush... nope, that's a plant... Kerry... nope, that's a girl's name... Nader... nope, rhymes too much with Enviromentalist Hindus... Kirby... Kirby?  Cool, that's totally an uber name! I'm voting for Kirby!

j.j Newscaster: Alright and.. hey... what's that?

i.i Female Newscaster: It seems a new state formed, like, 2 seconds ago, it's called "Chaos Land"... and it has... 1k electoral votes...?

j.j Newcaster: ...and it goes... to KIRBY!!!

`.` ChaosChronicle: w00t! Chaos Land pwnz joo!

(>`.`)> Kirby: DUUUDE! w00t!

j.j Newscaster: The new president for 2004 to 2008 is Kirby!

<(^.^ <) *Dance*

^(^.^)^ *Dance*

(>^.^)> *Dance*

(>`.`)> Kirby: Oh yeah, teh president iz me!!!1one

(>`.`)> Kirby: For the first order of business, I'm going to give all bums a bottle of beer and a hooker... and then I'll clean the hookers and... make them rich... and then I'll make abortion illegal, but instead you can give your babies to the Cybernetic Baby Anti-Terrorist Guard or the C.B.A.T.G.  And then we set up mega missile defense turrets around the country!  Then we legalize the killing of people that are dumber then rocks with sword.  And then... ooo, what does this button do? *press*

u_u Government Agent: NO!  DONT TOUCH THAT!!  THATS THE SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE!!!

(>`.`)> Kirby: For the white house?

u_u Government Agent: No... for America!

(>`.`)> Kirby: Okay, who the hell would make a self destruct button for America?

@_@ Bush: ...Dad?

#_# Bush Sr.: What?

@_@ Bush: I never got to push the button...

#_# Bush Sr.: What... button...?

@_@ Bush: The Self Destruct button... I'm so sad... I need to get me some possom...

#_# Bush Sr.: ...

(>`.`)> Kirby: ...cool flashing red lights...!

*Speaker*: Five... four... three... two... one and a half... one and a quater...

(>`.`)> Kirby: ...

*Speaker*: One and a tenth, one and a hundreth, one and a thousandth...

(>`.`)> Kirby: ...

*Speaker*: Two, two and hief, shfoorteenteen, twenty seven, thirty seven, what you say? SCHFIFTY FIVE!!!

(>`.`)> Kirby: ...gun... must... shoot... self... idiocy... growing... exponentially...

@_@ Bush: Did I say self-destruct sequence button?  I mean retardation button!

#_# Bush Sr.: Did I mention that I dropped you on your head several thousand times when you were little?

@_@ Bush: ...I like beans...

(>`.`)¬ Kirby: Suicide isn't wrong... its just what the doctor ordered!

*Bang*

(>O_O)> Kirby: HUFF HUFF HUFF!!! Oh, it was just a dream!

(>`.`)> Kirby: *phew*