Comic #33

Comic #33) A Godlike Fight

(>`.`)> Kirby: Well, boys and girls, I haven't been around recently because I've been comatose for the past 6 months.

(>v.v)> Kirby: Too much fucking pot.

(>^_^)> Kirby: But I'm back and ready to kick some ass! And hopefully I won't have to fight Condomheadman or Semenman or Spermboy soon!

***

{>`.`}> Xirby: I, Xirby, have been reincarnated as... Xirby X!

o.o Attendant: Sir, what the hell are you talking about?

{>`o`}> Xirby: QUIET! I am ROLEPLAYING!

o.o Attendant: Yessir.

{>`.`}> Xirby: For that transgression I order you to bend over.

o.o Attendant: ...Yessir.

*Meanwhile*

`.` John: Hey, Kirby, I heard Xirby is planning some sort of trap to kill you or something generically dumb a bad guy would do.

(>`.`)> Kirby: That's generically stupid.

`.` John: I agree.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Let's go and stop him before he hurts himself.

`.` John: Okay.

*3 Minutes Later*

{>`.`}> Xirby: WHAT?! How did they enter my abode?!

(>`.`)> Kirby: You live right down the street.

`.` John: We rode our bikes.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Mhm.

{>`.`}> Xirby: ...oh.

o.o Attendant: Help... me...

(>O_O)> Kirby: My god! Look at his asshole!

`.` John: It's as wide as a truck!

{>`.`}> Xirby: Enough! I shall banish you fr--

(>-.-)>{x.x<}

(>`.`)> Kirby: Okay, well, let's go get some biscuits.

`.` John: Only if I get to rub them all over my naked body before I eat them.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Okay, well, I'm going to get some biscuits.

*Voice* HALT!

God 1: Alright, seriously, this has to stop.

God 2: You've become so imaginably powerful you can't even fight your archrivals anymore.

(>o.o)> Kirby: Who the fuck are you guys?!

`.` John: Your beard is gay.

God 2: ...

God 1: Enough! You must stop this escapade at once and sacrafice your powers.

(>O.o)> Kirby: What... powers?

God 1: ..you know, the ability to create mass amounts of chaotic destruction and to destroy universes without so much as breaking a sweat.

(>`.`)> Kirby: Oh... that... because... I totally have that power.

God 2: Err... aren't you Chaoticas? Lord of Zarathustra and Reignchampion of the Hellfire Citadel?

`.` John: Doesn't that guy owe me money?

(>`.`)> Kirby: Nope, I'm Kirby.

God 1: Goddamnit, I told you to take a right at the Time Warp Sector 3402.

God 2: Bite me, maybe if you didn't insist you knew the way we would've brought a damned map!

God 1: I-I'm sorry hunny. Let's kiss and make up.

God 2: You're right.

`.` John: The Gods of our universe are... homosexual?

(>O.o)> Kirby: No wonder this universe is so gay.

God 1: Yeah, you know that whole death thingy you bioorganisms do? We were too busy buttfucking one another to correct it before it got proccessed.

`.` John: ...

(>-_-)> Kirby: ...

`.` John: Kirby, wanna become Gods?

(>`.`)> Kirby: As long as I dont have to buttfuck you.

`.` John: errr...

(>`.`)> Kirby: Well, maybe just once... but just to experiment.

`.` John: No.

(>v.v)> Kirby: You've never loved me!

`.` John: Ready?

(>`.`)> Kirby: I was grown in a test tube ready.

`.` John: You don't have a mommy?

(>`O`)> Kirby: Hiyaaaaaaaa!

Voice 1: Woah! what the hell?! Our subjects are attacking us?!

Voice 2: We will not let you destroy us!

`.` John: Ultimate Magic! Cosmos Implosion!

Voice 1: Impossible!! Such power!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

`.`

Voice 2: Argh! They hit a skin cell on my knee!

Voice 1: Aww poor baby, let me kiss it and make it better.

`.` John: Impossible! They're too big to hit more than a cell at a time!

(>`.`)> Kirby: You ready, John?

`.` John: As always!

(>.\/.)> Kirby: Combination...

`.` John: Magic!

(>`O`)> `.` Together: Wave of Biscuits!

Voice 1: WHAT?! They know that spell?!

Voice 2: Only the most deadly warlocks of the Realms know that technique!

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(>^.^)> `.`

(>^.^)> Kirby: Biscuits!

`.` John: Mmm.

(>O_O)> Kirby: What the hell are you doing with those biscuits?!

`.` John: N-nothing?!

Voice 1: Argh! I felt a sharp pain in my belly button!

Voice 2: They hit me in the shoulder!

Voice 1: We must retaliate!

Voice 2: I will attack them!

Voice 2: Finger of Doom!

(>.\/.)> Kirby: He just flipped us off!

`.` John: That dick!

(>`O`)> Kirby: You know what? Fuck your god positions, that was plain rude.

`.` John: Go trim your beards, dipshits.

(>`O`)> Kirby: And grow a damn pair of testicles.

`.` John: Yeah!

(>-_-)> Kirby: Let's go, John.

Voice 1: ...Finger of Doom?

Voice 2: I-it's all I could I think of!

Voice 1: You're a fucking moron.

{>`.`}> Xirby: Owe... my head. Who the fuck are you guys? And can I join?

(>'.')> <('.')> <('.'<)
Dance Kirby Dance