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Oracle Vs. Jerry

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( o ) Jerry: I am Jerry, the one eyed goo monster!
O.O Oracle: I AM THE GREAT ORACLE.
( o ) Jerry: You shall meet your fate by my hands!
O.O Oracle: THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE.  I KNOW ALL FATES.
( o ) Jerry: Then you know that this fight is bootless, that I already won!
O.O Oracle: NO.  YOUR FATE IS THAT YOU SHALL KILL YOUR FATHER AND MARRY YOUR MOTHER.
( o ) Jerry: No?
O.O Oracle: YES.
( o ) Jerry: Actually I reproduce by asexual reproduction.
O.O Oracle: THEN I WAS RIGHT.  YOU KILLED YOUR FATHER AND MARRIED YOUR MOTHER.
( o ) Jerry: How do you figure that?
O.O Oracle: QUITE SIMPLE.  YOU REPRODUCED WITH YOURSELF, AND SINCE THAT WAS TECHNICALLY YOUR MOTHER, THEN YOUR FATHER MUST HAVE BEEN KILLED IN ORDER TO DO SO.
( o ) Jerry: ...what?
O.O Oracle: THE GREAT ORACLE HAS SPOKEN.
(o) Jerry: Fuck you, whore!  SUPER JERRY!!!
(  O  ) Super Jerry: I am now three times bigger than you, puny human!
O.O Oracle: YOU MEAN, OF COURSE, PUNY ORACLE.
(  O  ) Super Jerry: No, I meant human.
O.O Oracle: THEN YOU'RE A MOOSE.
(  O  ) Super Jerry: I am not a moose.
O.O Oracle: MOOOOOOOOOOSE.
(  O  ) Super Jerry: Shut the fuck up!  GOO BEAM!
(  O  )оооооооооO.O
O.O Oracle: I'VE BEEN GOO-A-FIED.
(  O  ) Super Jerry: HAHAHAHAHAH!!!
O.O Oracle: YOUR FATE HAS CHANGED - YOU SHALL NOW KILL YOUR MOTHER AND MARRY YOUR FATHER.
(  O  ) Super Jerry: Wh-
O.O Oracle: THE GREAT ORACLE HAS SPOKEN!!!
(  O  ) Super Jerry: Fine, if that doesn't defeat you - how about this!
(   0   ) Ultimate Jerry: And now that there's no brownies in sight - I, Ultimate Jerry, shall easily defeat you!
O.O Oracle: QUIET INFADEL - THE GODS SPEAK TO ME!
(   0   ) Ultimate Jerry: You can't tell me to be quiet!  You little -
O.O Oracle: ZEUS SAYS YOU TURN HIM ON.  HE IS GOING TO TRANSFORM HIMSELF INTO A USED CONDOM AND FUCK YOU HARD.
(   0   ) Ultimate Jerry: What the hell?
O.O Oracle: THE GREAT ORACLE HAS SPOKEN!
(   0   ) Ultimate Jerry: Hey, I just felt something fall on me... feels kinda rubbery and wet... oh... uh... wait...
(   0   ) Ultimate Jerry: AHHHHH IM GETTING FUCKED BY A CONDOM!!! AHHHHHHH!!!
O.O Oracle: NOT JUST ANY CONDOM - A TROJAN CONDOM.  A USED TROJAN CONDOM USED BY ZEUS!
(   0   ) Ultimate Jerry: IT BURNS!!! IT BURNS!!!
O.O Oracle: YOU HAVE NOW LOST YOUR VIRGINITY TO ZEUS.
*Explosion*
O.O Oracle: YOU SHALL KILL YOUR FATHER AND MARRY YOUR MOTHER.
~~~ <--- Pile of goo left over from 'sploded Jerry.
O.O Oracle: THE GREAT ORACLE HAS SPOKEN!
 
(   0   ) Ultimate Jerry Defeated!
2540 EXP Gained
1 AP Gained
0 GP Aquired
Zeus' Condom found 'in' Jerry
 

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